judge Roy Bean

The Only Law West of the Pecos

  Discount International Phone Rates

   Welcome to Judge Roy Bean Children's Rights           
Main Page
Free Email & Login
ONLINE CASINOS
Email the Judge
Free Stuff at CarTrackers







Win a FREE Jeep Wrangler and a BMW Z3 at WonderCli







Tabasco Storebutton







Electronics Gifts

            
Children's Bill of Rights

God bless America, land of "personal rights"


My son came home from school one day,
A smirk was on his face.
He'd decided he was smart enough
To put me in my place.

HE SAID:
Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
That's taught by Mr. Weiss,
It's all about the laws today:
The 'CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS'.

IT SAYS:
I don't have to clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
How to speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom FROM religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure DON'T HAVE TO PRAY.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Be tattooed from head to toes.

AND if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with the crime,
I'll back up all my charges
With the marks on my behind.

HE SAID:
Don't you ever touch me,
This body's for MY use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
That's just more child abuse.

HE CONTINUED WITH:
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your mama did to you.
That's nothing but your mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services,
Better known as C.S.D.

MY TURN!

Well, of course, my natural instinct
Was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach a lesson,
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A little smile crept to my face...
He was messing with a pro!

Next day I took him shopping,
At the local Good Will store,
I told him, "pick out all you want!
There are shirts & pants galore."

I've called and checked with C.S.D.,
They said they didn't care,
If what you got was K-Mart shoes,
Instead of Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned,
So I'll decide what's best.

No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch,
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save that raging appetite,
And wait 'til dinner time.
We're having liver and onions.
It's a favorite dish of mine.

He ASKED:
Can we stop to rent a movie,
So I can watch the VCR?
Sorry, I said, I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
You can take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires just a roof
above your little head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose the food we eat,
That allowance that you used to get
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'PARENTS' BILL OF RIGHTS',
It's in effect today!

Hey,Hey, Hot Shot, are you crying?
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you?
.....GO CALL THE C.S.D


God bless America, land of government agencies.
Aren't we glad we live in America, where everyone has to tiptoe around everyone else.
Our Thanks to G.Tunnel for sending this.
                      

Do you have an interesting "Only in America" absurdity? Email the Judge. Thanks from JRB

Our Iraq Policy?   Date MY Daughter?    Test YOUR Voter Prowess

Statutes for Cowboys   Statutes for Soldiers    Statutes for Students

Statutes for Cats    Casinos     Back to more fun at the Judge Bean Page

Give the gift that keeps giving year round!
Try all these discounted magazines, and more - Risk Free!

US Weekly
US Weekly

Travel America
Travel America

Collectible Automobile
Collectible Automobile

Child
Child

Bloomberg Personal Finance
Bloomberg
Personal Finance

CLICK HERE FOR ACCESS TO OVER 900 MAGAZINES AT DISCOUNTS UP TO 67% OFF NEWS STAND PRICE

ultimate video store
OAK CREEK MUSIC
Great Music Selection
CLICK HERE
Rhode Island
Great Dining at the
HotPointRestaurant
OAK CREEK
Electronics
CLICK HERE
ultimate book store
CentsOff - Grocery Coupons
CentsOff Associate Partner

©1999-2001 JudgeRoyBean.com
All Rights Reserved!


Monitored By LinkCounter
Notice to Domain Pirates, JudgeRoyBean.com is not for sale!
However, you may ->   Advertise  

Free counters provided by Honesty.com.
LinkShare Referral Program
Guestbook
Sign    View

Free Guestbook by Guestpage